Die Critics Die

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DIE,CRITICS,DIE!

critic bashers have visited this site since October 4, 1999.

Let's face it: most movie critics are morons, who have nothing in common with the movie-going public, the industry, filmmakers, the study of the art of film, or anything else other than their own bloated egos. I will take in account the subjectivity that builds opinions on films, but I will not let that be an excuse. You see, the reasons that some give to not liking a film, the way they write or talk about a film, the way they analyze it, or, in other words, the way that they criticize films make some critics be just complete idiots. Some? Most I would say. Who hires these guys? Heck, there are several independent critics on the web or student publications that are way better than the "leading" critics (then again, there are others that are just as bad or worse, as described below).

So this site is dedicated to bashing critics.

Please, don't submit a critic to the list just because he hates certain popular film and loves an unpopular one (heck, I'd be first on the list for not liking Casablanca yet enjoying several B-movies). But feel free to submit his/her name if he/she hates a large amount of movies that most of us agree that are very good, and heartily enjoy too many that most of us agree that are blatantly bad. But more importantly, submit the names of critics that are just plain bad reviewers on a regular basis, for these are the ones I'm going to take in account more than anything else. You know, the type that only talk about how some other film was better so the one being reviewed sucks (despite the fact that the movie is not a remake nor a direct rip off of the previous one; and even then), or just make an "originality" count, or who like anything that the company that pays them asks them to like, or just seem to rip off some other critic, or are pretending to be film gourmets, or are overall just bad writers, or have a really bad basis for rating films.

So PLEASE submit your listing of bad critics that you know of. Just include an attack of any length on the mentioned snob or idiot, and a link to the critic's work (if available). And feel free to add to the comments on the critics below (the more bashing the better!)...

To submit write to: bad@die-critics-die.8m.com

NOTE: Whatever you do, do not take this website seriously. Otherwise, you will be as bad as the critics we are making fun of.

[This page is maintained by Parca Mortem. Reviews with a P.M. at a bottom were made by him]

==> LINKS <==

A note: yes, Pauline Kael passed away. However, to "celebrate" her 'enduring contribution' to film criticism, we will continue to have her listed. We do not think it is in bad taste, given that no critics are actually killed in this website. We merely destroy all monstrously inflated egos.

Leonald Maltin

Thomas Carder

Chris Garcia

Pauline Kael

Roger Ebert

Duncan Shepard

Paul Wunder

Alexander Walker

John Simon

Gene Shallit

Joel Siegel

Richard Schickel