Free Web Hosting Provider - Web Hosting - E-commerce - High Speed Internet - Free Web Page
Search the Web

Rex Reed:  Chances are that you've heard of this guy, but you can't remember who he is or what he does, much less anything he's said.  That's because, despite his attempts over the years to promote himself as the great critic, he hasn't achieved anything but to become a joke.  His name is usually cited when somebody is thinking of an example of a bad critic.  He was the constant butt of jokes of the animated sitcom The Critic (which you can still catch on rerun hell on Comedy Central around midnight on weekends).  Why is he attacked so much?  Let's start by the fact that he thinks he's a movie star, and acts that way (seriously, how many 60 year old critics do you know that have a tan and dyed hair?), and thus promotes himself as some sort of insider, which he is not.  He then tries to promote himself as some sort of film professor, when his knowledge outside of the mainstream is pretty limited, and his theories and basis of analysis are awful.  Another reason for his shame is that he was one of the replacements on At the Movies after Siskel and Ebert left for their own official show, where he only managed to annoy people.

Now, the most annoying thing about Reed is HOW he reviews films.  He talks like if he were doing a commercial.  He says several adjectives in several sentences, many times at the rate of one short sentence per adjective, other times cramming as many adjectives as possible in one long sentence.  They're pretty undescriptive, as he never says WHY the film deserves such adjectives.  He never really enters to analyze a film.  The few times he does so, you wish he had stuck to the adjectives...

The second most annoying thing of Reed is that he only praises movies that fall into some typical Hollywood type.  Any movie that takes risks is immediately trashed by him.  Particularly if there is more than one idea involved, or if the plot per se is secondary to other elements that the film is really centered on.  For example, the ever changing Being John Malkovich got called by him  "an exasperatingly precocious one-joke idea that collapses after the first 20 minutes and drags on numbingly, substituting conceit for substance."  He's also not kind to movies made by people who are not famous.  And he hates movies that are overall dark, as he finds them unrealistic.  Finally, he gives the most annoying titles possible to his reviews.  For a recent example, his review of Bringing Out the Dead was titled "Hee-Haw Goes Hollywood".

Currently he works at the New York Observer.  However, if you want to watch Mr. Star Critic in action, watch Myra Breckenridge, one of the worst movies ever made (enjoyed only by people who see it as a camp classic), which stars ol' Rex as a guy who has a sex change operation and becomes Raquel Welch.  Heck, to annoy ol' Rex, here's a picture from that piece of garbage:

Note: he's not acting.  He's an idiot in real life too.
 

P.M.-